I was given a picture this week that has helped me understand my current situation. It was a picture of the pond life…complete habitat with fish and water lilies and an abundance of life – each organism taking its place fulfilling its function. In this habitat live some very interesting creatures…the tadpole, the frog, the caterpillar and the butterfly.

You might think you know how this picture goes…

Yes, the tadpole becomes the frog and the caterpillar becomes the butterfly but here’s the thing…they don’t necessarily leave their environment after the transformation. They continue to live in the same habitat but they take on a very different function and role in the ecosystem.

Let’s just think about the tadpole – he starts and lives his entire life – in the water. It’s normal is to live among the algae and the reeds swimming, feeding and living its life… But what about when the tadpole starts to develops its legs? The strange metamorphosis takes the tadpole on a strange journey…it goes from the familiarity of the water to growing limbs – strong limbs that can take it higher, and further than ever before!! No more wriggling around in the mud, the tadpole extends its territory to frog territory!!! No longer the bottom of the food chain, the frog becomes a hunter!

I realised this week…I have transformed out of my safe little pool…my horizons have expanded and the pond is no longer my only habitat. I can hop, skip, jump and travel further and faster than I have ever done before. The problem is…I keep thinking like a tadpole…trying to get my strong limbs to scrunch down to tadpole size to fit the tadpole life.

The problem is…it doesn’t work – a tadpole cannot do what a frog does, and the frog cannot go back to the tadpole life.

I don’t know when exactly I grew my legs, or when I crawled up on the bank, but as I survey my environment, I realise I was made for more than just the water’s edge. I have tried to stay within the socially accepted confines of the tadpole life in frog form…and I wonder why I don’t feel like I fit.

So, it’s time to say goodbye to the tadpole life. These strong legs aren’t created for wriggling…they were created for bounding…and there are quite a few lily pads I would like to explore with a topside view!!! I will always be grateful for the pool that gave me a safe place to grow…it has been my refuge and my safe place…but I don’t belong to just the pool anymore…

So, here’s to skipping lily pads and exploring a little further…I am looking forward to meeting some more like-minded frogs along the way…and maybe if I kiss the right one – my prince charming might appear! I’ll keep you posted!!

I heard a story recently that has really stuck with me.

Ross told me his story of when he first moved to the west coast of New Zealand. His introduction to his new home was 45 days of non-stop drizzle and overcast and gloomy weather. You know that depressing ‘will-I-ever-see-the-sun-again’ kind of gloom? As a warm climate loving person the experience had him climbing the walls and just wanting to quit and get out. Everyone kept telling him that it wasn’t always like that, but the persistent bad weather seemed to be unending. So much so – he ended up counting the days!!!

Ross told me the only reason he did decide to stay was the stunning view of snow capped mountains and clear blue skies…on DAY 46!!!

I realised it was such a beautiful analogy of the perspective of hope.

Sometimes life can just feel like unending overcast days – work stressors, crises, daily challenges…and then add insult to injury with those suck-the-breath-from-your-lungs painful moments that just leave you wondering if it is all worth it. Day by day you wonder will all this ever end…is there any light at all at the end of this tunnel?

It doesn’t matter how many times people tell you that things will get better…on days 19, 28, 32…it just seems like very cold comfort and day 46 is just an ethereal promise.

Enduring challenges and hardship is never easy…never a whole lot of fun either… But it is only in the glorious unveiling of day 46 that we realise that we have been seeing things through a veil of cloud…the hope was always right there – beautiful and clear! And once you see it – there is absolutely no going back.

The weather can change and the drizzle return – but you know…hidden behind all the mist is a spectacular view…enough to set your heart alight and give your soul wings!! And that is hope… You can’t quantify it, buy it, or manufacture it – but without it – we are lost!!!

I’ve endured my own seasons of never ending rain, but I also know what that view looks like. It keeps me going…call it vain hope, call it what you will, but it keeps me believing, keeps me hoping – and that is worth hanging onto.

Today…I want to remind myself…and you…day 46 is coming…just keep holding on.

 

I am just back from a week in the beautiful country location of Toowoomba, Queensland. I went to teach on a Discipleship Training School for a week. I am always humbled that I am invited to share my life journey and what I have gathered along the way. I am always equally humbled by the people I meet and the access they give me to their lives!!

It was a special week in lots of ways. For a start it was a school of 33 extremely talented singers and musicians!! It was a bit like living daily in a scene from ‘High School Musical’ – just minus the dramas!! It didn’t matter where I went, there would be someone with a guitar or singing in harmony!! Incredible!!!

While I truly love the opportunity to go and teach – there is a certain sacrifice that comes with the job. I often find myself focussing on the students and spending my time pouring into them. So much at times, that I get really exhausted.

While there were definitely elements of that this trip…I also found myself asking God for something more this time…

The beautiful location we were in, and the beautiful cool misty mornings were pure delight to my heart after the past couple of months of sweltering in the North Queensland summer… But there was something even more than that…

 

You see, I got to see a dream fulfilled…

I remember while I was teaching in high school, over 20 years ago, I was hanging out with a talented group of musicians…while they played, I was in the kitchen doing the dishes… At the time, I felt like it was my contribution to my friends. Other than a love of singing, my musical talents are pretty much non-existent, so while my friends played their instruments together, I got busy with the dishes.

While I was washing dishes enjoying an incredible musical feast in my own house, I had a picture of one day serving musicians in a more tangible way.

You see – I love the arts! I love to champion people’s creativity and help them find ways of stepping out even more with their gifts! At the time though, I just had no idea how that might actually look.

Fast forward 20+ years and here I was – still with very limited musical talents encouraging a whole school of young musicians into the truth of their TRUE IDENTITY in the Lord! After an incredible day of ministry, these talented musos spontaneously started picking up instruments to add into the incredible orchestra of worship!!

And it hit me – this was the picture I had over 20 years previously… To say that I dissolved into a puddle of grateful tears would probably be an understatement… I was so incredibly overwhelmed by what I saw unfolding in front of my eyes.

In a time when its too easy to get discouraged and think that anything good must be in the ‘old days’…I stood on the precipice of deep, abiding joy.

Just like mist that burns off with the heat of the day, dreams can sometimes be elusive and feel as though they too may burn off with time. But…dreams ARE WORTH holding onto. We never know what tomorrow may bring…maybe right around the corner is the answer to your heart’s hope.

I have come back from my trip to Toowoomba much richer than I left…in the relationships I made…but even more than, in a rekindled hope that – DREAMS DO COME TRUE!

Here’s hoping that you get to hold a little tighter to your dreams today…and praying that it won’t be long till you too get to see those dreams fulfilled!!

 

 

Ok, I feel that it is only right to warn you that this may be a bit of a rant from me… You see, of late, I have had a few comments about the length of some of the emails I write. Now, I know my propensity to be verbose, so I generally try to pair it back and just communicate the essentials. But I have noticed that if an email if more than a few lines long, people start making comments.

It got me thinking about the impact of our new media tools and how they have brought us to a place where fully expressed thoughts are seen as long winded!!

While I am guilty of using emoticons and the odd abbreviation…I am sad that it is impacting our everyday communication to such a degree. Our lives have become so busy that unless you can sum them up in 140 characters of less, people just won’t read it!!

My biggest gripe has to do with the loss of the beauty of words… An adjective has become superfluous when an emoticon will suffice!!! As someone who voluntarily studied Shakespeare at university and revelled in the beauty of well-crafted writing, I can’t help but be a little sad.

I know, I hear all the critics say that Shakespeare was simply using language of the day and if he wrote today it would be littered with current idioms and probably the odd abbreviation…and maybe even an emoticon or two (heaven forbid!)…but that still doesn’t make me lament the loss of…something.

You have to understand…I am all about the long version. It’s the language of my heart. I want to fully understand. Not just the Cliff Notes version, but the whole gory, emotional, heart-convulsing LONG VERSION!!

I am still a romantic at heart and I love nothing better than sunsets and beautifully written prose. Or better still, that rarest of flowers…a hand written letter!

The advent of technology has meant the demise of the postage stamp, and even in Australia the mail-handling business is suffering significant financial losses due to the demise of letters.

Yes, I am sure the forests are grateful for the reprieve, and the furry animals now have more secure tenancy…

But I can’t help it – I am a dyed-in-the-wool, can’t shake it, all-about-the-long-version, paperback reading, unashamed lover of words!!!

While the English Teacher in me has retired her red pen, my passion and delight in lovely, beautiful words, has not dimmed.

And while I realise my comments may draw criticism and cynicism…frankly, I am glad! Go ahead – make your comments, I dare you! You see, there is nothing like stirring someone’s passions to bring out all those lovely, beautiful, passionate WORDS!!

I lost a little faith in humanity last week. Despite all the information at our disposal, I was the victim of a phone scam.

I had a call from someone purporting to be from the Australian taxation office. It was notification that I had failed to respond to previous correspondence in relation to money I supposedly owed and due to my non-response, I would be charged with defrauding the taxation office – warrants for my arrest and imminent court action was threatened. Of course I had absolutely no knowledge of anything they were saying.  They made it sound credible and as a result I was sent into a tailspin of panic and anxiety where reason flies out the window and you wonder how you could ever end up in such a predicament.

Despite my panic, they were able to make enough mistakes to trigger my suspicions and make me doubt the validity of the caller. Thankfully due to poor signal the line dropped out and I was able to call the real Taxation Office and discover that it was in fact a scam!!

So, thankfully, no real damage was done…other than to my faith in humanity…

I was reading James 1 yesterday and there is nothing like being reminded to – ‘consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds…’ (James1:2) to put things into perspective!

It really reminded me just how easy it is to be tossed… Doubt is a serious stumbling block… It takes our well formed ideas and puts them into confusion and leaves us feeling that we are in the spin cycle of a washing machine!!

It always tends to be the bumps in the road that remind us that we are strangers and aliens in the land. Today I feel a little more alien and strange than I would normally like, but I am also reminded that the struggle is worth it. I have always believed in the truth of ‘its always darkest right before dawn’. And I think that’s what’s happening here.

Another bend in the road. I can’t quite see around the corner, but I know if I just keep trusting through my season of buffeting, what’s next can be truly wonderful.

I guess there is no other option for me – time to buckle up – I am in this for the long haul!

I was challenged earlier this year to start a blog. I have been toying with the idea wondering if what I had to say was what I wanted to send out to the world.

I have come to realise that I have always written. My earliest memories are of drawing squiggles on a page – even before I really knew how to write! It’s been mostly for myself…just thoughts on a page.

Recently, I have come to realise that my thoughts have merit…my mental meanderings may be of more value than I have ever given them credit.

I guess its like finally realising that others think the same way I do, and its through the written words that connections are made, divides are conquered and bridges are crossed.

Ideas collaborate through the simple process of being shared.

A word in season.

I have always admired the words of others, and words have always been my paint box, my easel and my canvass. But the thought of ever publishing anything, has always been a slightly daunting thought.

I have come to the conclusion that I am really the only one who has the final say on the worth of my words… Others may weigh their potential, but only I have the final say on what they were created for…to tell a story, share an idea or simply give order to the jumble in my head.

So here begins a brand new adventure for me…the start of a blog. I hope you will come along for the journey.